it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
