Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
