Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
