i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
