Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Randomize
