Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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