We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
