We're facebook friends in real life
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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