North Korea, Best Korea!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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