I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
