Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
