And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
