Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
True college students do jello shots in the library
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