He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
