I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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