he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish you could order shots online.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
