Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
