Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
