I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
How's work?
Spinning.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
