Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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