11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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