I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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