Screwed.edu
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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