So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
