Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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