We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
