Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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