Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Houston, we have a blender
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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