You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
