If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
