So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
vagina is talking i cant
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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