I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
