I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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