becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
