You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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