are you still at the devil's house?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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