just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
