I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize