Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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