I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
