No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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