I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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