party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
