I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
