I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
