I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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