people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
