JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
