Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
