Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
