first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
