butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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