Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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