No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You're like the curious george of whores
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
