Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who died my cat blue again?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
