Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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