doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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