with your own penis?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
