Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Alive.
So much puke
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize